But he's an absolute arsehead!
Cork it fatso!
I have a cunning plan to solve the problem
What on earth was I drinking last night? My head feels like there's a frenchman living in it
Well cover me in eggs and flour and bake me for 40 mins
Well bugger me with a fish fork
Goodbye you lazy big nosed, rubber faced bastard
He's mad!! He's mad . He's madder than Mad Jack McMad, the winner of last years Mr. Madman competition
Shove off you old trout!
We're in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun
Darling, you are a complete arse!
Oh Dear!!
Oops!
God that woman's about as subtle as a rhinocerous horn up the backside
Look, am I paying for this personal abuse or is it extra?
As I shall be known from now on...The Black...Vegetable
The Black..Adder
Your breath comes straight from Satans bottom Baldrick
Have you got a plan my lord? Yes I have..and it's so cunning you could brush your teeth with it
I think the phrase rhymes with clucking bell
You utter creep
I have a cunning plan that cannot fail
I've got a plan so cunning, you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel
I have a cunning plan which could get you out of this problem
May I present my cunning plan
The cheap curse
The expensive curse
Dead men don't tend to make social calls do they?
Make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease
Now the sort of person we're looking for, is an aggressive drunken lout, with the intelligence of a four year old and the sexual sophistication of a donkey
A chat with you and somehow death loses it's sting
Kate, he looks like what he is, a dungball in a dress
Oh yes, the eunuchs
Baldrick I would advise you to make the explanation you are about to give phenomenally good
Oh yes damn, Percy the devil farts in my face once more
A fate worse than a fate worse than death! That's pretty bad
I'll just go and tell them to fornicate off
I would shake your hand, but I fear it would come off
Blackadders definition of heaven and hell
The Blackadder gives you his word
You must be joking
Blackadders introductory speech as the new Lord High Executioner
Sometimes I'm nice...and sometimes I'm nasty
Oh damn
The path of my life is strewn with cowpats from the devils own satanic heard
Prepare to die
Thank you young crone. Here is a purse of monies... which i'm not going to give to you
The Black Adder is a venomous reptile and women are his prey
Shut up and never say anything again as long as you live
We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod
No I would rather french kiss a skunk
I know you mean to be friendly, but I hope you won't take it amiss if I ask you to sod off and die
If you're not careful, all the children will dance about outside your window singing sourpuss and grumpy face....and you wouldn't want that would you
If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I'd have bought one at the market
She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a mans tonsils
Yep. but they have one great redeeming feature..they're wallets. More copacious than an elephants scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on
This is a different thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit
This is the worst moment of my entire life
Well hurrah!!
Tally ho, pip pip and Bernards your uncle. In English we say Good morning
I think you must be the snugglywuggliest lambkin in the whole of toyland
Who's Queen?